Yesterday I had a big disappointment. For some weeks I have been considering a five day leadership course in November organised by the Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship. Although I don’t see myself as part of the charismatic movement, I have some sympathy with it and have been in enough ‘charismatic’ meetings to feel comfortable with the general ethos and atmosphere. In any case, going to something outside my usual experience might be just the thing to give me spiritual inspiration. Also, the course is being promoted through Methodist channels so I wouldn’t be an outsider. And the clinching factor is that my recent rewarding experiences with Street Pastor training (see earlier blogs here and here) came from the same school of thought.
So I’ve been looking forward to this course right up to the point where I sat down to book a place. Then I discovered it clashes with certain family arrangements which mean it will be a bad time to be away from home.
In coming to terms with my disappointment my first thought was this. “Lord, how can you dangle in front of me some encouraging, challenging and uplifting experience and then whisk it away? You’d better have something even better in mind!”
My later thoughts were, “Lord, are you trying to tell me that I shouldn’t be pinning my hopes on some conference as the solution to all my problems? Perhaps I shouldn’t be waiting until November to sort out my spiritual malaise but discovering a renewed sense of love for God here and now.”
So I’m pretty much over my disappointment by today. (One advantage with not being a deeply emotional person – I don’t sink too deep and bob back to the surface fairly quickly.) Instead I am beginning to feel new anticipation. Either God is throwing me back on my own resources to pull my socks up and make a go of life. Or God has something planned which will be even better than the course I can’t attend. Or both. Watch this space.
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