Reduced to Love

I've just returned from our monthly Street Pastor meeting where we have listened to a Canadian lady (on CD) talk about love. What she had to say was highly applicable not just for the occasional Friday evening on the street but for all my interactions with other people.

I need to see others as God sees them. To recognise in them a beautiful human being full of potential and with a glorious eternal destiny ahead of them. I should not see them as a 'target' to be saved, redeemed or reformed. I should definitely not see them as an 'undesirable' to be condemned or punished. My overwhelming attitude should be one of love. I should long to see them blessed - in whatever way they can cope with at the moment, rather than some form of blessing I would personally approve of. The speaker told a story of how God prompted her to give 20 dollars to a prostitute as a gift to help her have a 'better day'. The prostitute said, "you know what I am? You know what I'll spend this on?" (i.e. a heroin fix) and the speaker admitted she knew all that but still insisted the money was a gift from God with no strings attached. The moral of this story is not to give all my money away, but to love unconditionally, to have God's heart for anyone and everyone I meet.

Run! Don't walk.

The paper this morning had an article about taking a thirty minute brisk walk four or five times a week, preferably with half-minute bursts of sprinting every now and then to really push yourself hard. The benefits are greater health, more energy, happier, brainier, calmer and countless other blessings. Hebrews 12 begins with an encouragement to throw off anything that entangles and get running.

OK, so I'm a brisk walker rather than a jogger, but the principle's the same. Being energetic, pushing myself, gettting out of breath - it's a good thing. I actually feel good when I do it. The same applies when I raise my mental or spiritual efforts to the equivalent of an energetic walk, or even a flat-out run. So why do I spend my time taking the easy way out? Why do I look forward to the moments in the day when I can idle time away with a relaxing book or undemanding TV? Why do I prefer spiritual drifting to spiritual challenge?

Lord, help me to put some effort into physical, mental and spiritual activities. Help me enjoy expending my energies in these ways. Help me discover that life can be wonderful when taken at a brisk pace. I already appreciate the quiet breaks between exertions. Help me to find joy in the exertions too.

Getting Things Done

Since my last blog I have been inspired by one of those time / lifestyle management books which I like to read. This one is called "Getting Things Done" by David Allen. My copy doesn't have the author grinning from the front cover, but I presume the content is the same.

His description of the stress produced by overflowing in-trays is spot on. I realised that my problem is that I never get round to processing the stuff that comes in to my life from assorted places (post and email to name but two). I just let it pile up and have to keep rummaging through to ensure there is nothing urgent I'm missing.

Another key idea from the book is that 'stuff' should be turned into 'next actions'. For example, I have had on my list of jobs for some time "find new stewards". When I look at that reminder I know I've got to do something, but what? So all I do is feel guilty that I've not yet done anything, vaguely wonder what I might do, come to no decision and leave the reminder in the list of jobs so that it can prompt me to go through the same fruitless guilt-trip again next time I see it. Notice the difference when I turn this into a 'next action' - "ask X to consider being a steward". Now I know what I can do. So I do it. I talk to X and she says she'll think about it. I've made progress! I've got something done!

I'm not following his programme exactly. His first step is to gather all stuff from every area of your life into one massive 'in-tray' (which he reckons will take the best part of a day) and then process it using a flow chart (which will take another full day). My problem is that I haven't had a couple of spare days to devote to this exercise and in any case there is so much clutter in my study I need to deal with, that I could almost designate my entire study as an in-tray. Instead I am trying to implement his system in small doses, converting my list of jobs into 'next actions', processing the 150+ emails in my virtual in-tray and the mound of paper in my real in-tray and then moving on to all the other clutter around the study and the house. I've only scratched the surface so far, but I feel much more in control already and the last few weeks I've been getting things done.

One thing I've not been getting done is my blog. My attention has been elsewhere and I've not had the time or inclination to do any serious on-line spiritual reflection. Now that Easter is over I may be able to get back to regular journalling.

I've ignored my daughter's advice when she first saw me reading this book. "I've got a suggestion for how to get things done," she said. "Stop wasting your time reading that book and actually go and do something useful!"

New Week's Resolution #9

Result of NWR #8 (getting to bed early) - not too bad on the first four days of the week (between 11 and 11.30 but with no unnecessary dithering) but not so good for the last three days (around midnight).

I still need to sort out my sleep patterns properly, so here is another resolution. I will be out of bed before 7.00 am every morning and not fall asleep during the day. This last part will prove difficult if I continue reading for long after consuming my lunchtime sandwiches - sleep comes very naturally in such circumstances. Mind you, the only day next week I will have the opportunity to read and doze over lunch will be Saturday.

Put me to suffering

There is a line in our old Methodist Covenant service in which we pray "put me to doing; put me to suffering." One of my church stewards recently pointed out that this last word is meant in the sense of 'allowing to happen' (as in "suffer the little children to come unto me.") In other words, the prayer is about a willingness to be either active or passive. I'm not very good at passive.

Today I have a million and one tasks to do. OK, fifteen essential tasks taking an estimated 10 hours and a further eight soon-to-be-essential tasks taking an estimated 7 hours. In the week beginning tomorrow (Sunday) the first free time is a couple of hours on Thursday morning. I've no idea how I'm going to fit in the preparation for all the events on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. How on earth do I justify being passive?

On the other hand, how can I justify taking time off to read, eat, watch TV etc - all of which I will manage to fit in by just stopping work and taking my leisure instead? My difficulty is not fitting in leisure activities, it's abandoning all activites in order simply to be with God. But there's no time now for further musings. It's eleven o'clock and I've barely started my list of tasks.

Inspired by probationer

I had the privilege of accompanying J to her interview with the district probationers committtee. They quite rightly voted unanimously that she should be ordained as a Methodist minister. But the conversation threw up several good ideas that put me as a more experienced minister to shame. I didn't take notes, but here are a few I can remember.

• One morning a week studying. (A probationer is expected to take a day per week for study, but J wants to continue setting aside regular time for this.)
• Teaching - the importance of passing on to others what is learned.
• Preparing things together and then getting feedback on what went well and what could be done better next time.
• Noticing when people look tired. (J has been a physiotherapist and so is good at this.)
• Making time for hobbies. (J took up bell-ringing so that she could take part in the millennium celebrations, and now finds it very enjoyable and therapeutic.)

Back to Bible basics

Two incidents today have reminded me how much we assume we know about the Bible when the text doesn't actually say what we think.

I was trying to find a reading to accompany Jesus's prediction of his suffering and death. I was sure there would be something in one of the epistles which 'explained' the purpose of Christ's passion. But if there is, I'm blowed if I can find it. There are many allusions of course to the death of Jesus or the importance of the cross. But there doesn't seem to be a simple short passage that says "Jesus suffered abuse, whipping, desertion and crucifixion because..."

On the way to the district probationers committee, J asked what John Wesley meant in his sermon on the catholic spirit. "I do not say to love God 'above all things' because the phrase is unscriptural and ambiguous." (I may not have the quote exactly, but that's near enough.) In the following sentences he makes it clear that we should indeed love God with our whole being and long for him more than for anything. But Wesley was reluctant to employ a phrase not used in the Bible. I've checked. The words 'above all things' are indeed not scriptural.

Which is why studying the Bible is so important. It may well need re-interpreting for the current generation. But we need to interpret the Scripture itself rather than interpreting what we assume the Bible says based on a previous generation's own interpretation. Going back to the Bible stops the developing theology of the church from going too far off track.

Some niggling little disappointments

The sun is shining and I stand at the dawn of a day off. So why am I feeling slightly frustrated with life?

Is it because efficiency has its limitations? These last two days I have had two services, a drama rehearsal, a staff meeting, a song workshop and a family worship planning group. I have worked diligently to prepare all these events and have even managed to fit in a hospital visit. I have no qualms about my performance level. I have used my time well. But it is not enough. I have not been able to make any impact on my growing backlog of post and email. From teatime tonight I have a further series of events and meetings that, together with their preparation, will mean I have no time for admin or pastoral work until Thursday afternoon.

Is it because my attempts at leadership have met with limited success? a) The first of our joint staff meetings (with ministers from the circuit we are soon to join with) was intended to be a chance for mutual support and encouragement. Yet we ended up moaning about Methodism (as an organisation) and I sensed that at times people were getting a little annoyed with one another. b) I have been introducing recorded backing tracks to some of the modern songs in our worship, which is better quality than I can provide on the guitar or the organist on the organ. Yet people complain that it is too slow, or too fast, or too confusing. Arrangements designed for churches who like to savour the worship and repeat choruses don't seem to appeal to churches who prefer to get on and sing the song without fuss. c) I had prepared a possible outline for this Sunday's parade service, but after discussion by the family worship planning group, we abandoned it for a different approach which had us bogged down for most of the evening.

"Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain." (Psalm 127) It is not enough for me to be efficient or imaginative. I also need to be working alongside God. Maybe I am. Maybe what I am feeling is the same frustration God feels when he doesn't get the results he hopes for from his people. Maybe I am still in my apprenticeship and need to learn what doesn't work in order to discover what does. Maybe I just need to realise that I don't have total control over life - there are others whose attitudes, desires and needs contribute to the results of my efforts. In any case, I now feel a little less frustrated and can get on with enjoying my day off with S.

New Week's Resolution #8

Most of my self-discipline has recenlty gone to pot. It's time to start it up again by making one resolution per week. These days I often potter about late in the evening after meetings have finished and everyone has gone to bed. I browse the internet, I watch a DVD, I organise my music collection. All very enjoyable and relaxing, especially after a busy day. But late nights mean I feel tired in the morning and easily drop off after lunch.

So this week's resolution is that I will aim to be in bed each night before 11.00 pm. Or failing that, I will not allow trivial matters to extend my evening unnecessarily.

What maintenance makes possible

Following my comments about a great deal of maintenance being needed for life (see previous post), here are some thoughts about what such maintenance actually enables to happen. These are examples of 'doing stuff' rather than merely 'keeping the tools readily accessible and in good working order'. I'll use the same categories as before.

• HOME: Using it as a place to relax in or entertain visitors.
• PERSONAL: Doing things I enjoy for their own sake, indulging in hobbies or fulfilling personal ambitions.
• FAMILY: Going on special trips out, enjoying holidays together, supporting one another's lives or careers.
• SPIRITUAL: Appreciating God's love and rising to the challenges he sets.
• MINISTERIAL: Preaching, pastoral visiting, managing, leading. This category could further be subdivided. What for me is 'doing the actual work of ministry' may be for the church merely a matter of maintenance. Lots of ministry is 'church maintenance' - ensuring that routine worship, teaching, pastoral care and efficient organisation take place week by week. Only a small proportion of ministry really counts as 'new work'.

So what's the point of these further musings? Simply that these are the activities I should be working towards, and I should be careful of spending so much time on maintenance that I never get around to doing real stuff. It would be like someone who lavishes all their attention on car maintenance, keeping the vehicle finely tuned and lovingly polished, without ever enjoying the experience of driving it.