Don't Dismiss Maintenance

One of the phrases which has long been bandied about in Methodism is "Mission rather than maintenance", a sentiment with which I heartily agree. But at the supers meeting I got to reflecting how much time we actually need to spend on maintenance in our lives. By 'maintenance' I mean not actually doing new work, but keeping things in order and functioning properly so that they are readily available when called upon.

I easily managed to identify five categories each of which it is important to spend time on. The examples I give are only the tip of the iceberg in terms of the range of activities:

• HOME MAINTENANCE means keeping the house in a fit state to be lived in and able to accommodate whatever other activities may take place in it. It includes washing up, mowing the lawn, buying furniture and clearing the loft.
• PERSONAL MAINTENANCE means ensuring my body and mind remain fit and healthy. It includes shaving, eating, going on brisk walks and buying clothes.
• FAMILY MAINTENANCE means developing good relationships with the family (and I ought to include friends here too). It includes talking together, helping with homework, kissing, phoning a friend and everyday trips out.
• SPIRITUAL MAINTENANCE means staying in touch with God and deepening my faith. It includes prayer, theological reflection and going on retreats.
• MINISTERIAL MAINTENANCE means creating a physical environment and developing the necessary skills which will best allow me to function as a minister of the Methodist church. It includes dealing with post and email, organising a filing system and networking with others.

Doing maintenance can be fulfilling, enjoyable, satisfying and worthwhile. It's a good job, because it is a necessary part of life. We couldn't survive without it. We may as well enjoy it.

There is nothing to stop me multi-tasking. Reading a book over breakfast, or doing something fun with the family which is good exercise - such things tick more than one box.

But what is the point of these musings? One is that I ought to be aware of what I am doing. Too often I do things just because I feel like doing them, but they have no point or purpose beyond that. You could argue that it is perfectly valid to indulge in such things as part of my personal maintenance (retaining a healthy balance of work and play), and indeed if I choose to relax, then that is OK. But my failing is that I often just slip into doing stuff (whether trivial leisure or trivial work activities) without thinking. I've decided it would be helpful if I consciously set out to do 'half-an-hour of personal maintenance' for example. There are times when "why am I doing this?" would be a good question, and the answer may well be "it serves no purpose at all, not even in performing worthwhile life maintenance" in which case I am wasting my time and ought to choose a different activity.

A second reason for these musings is that I need to be careful about spending all my time on maintenance and never actually doing stuff for real. (But that's the subject of another post.)

A boost to my spiritual morale

OK, so the re-wiring of the manse is now done, the place is still in unpheaval, plaster dust everywhere and study in a mess, piles of paper, lots of email and post to deal with, overwhelmed by work and nothing done for the last two days because of superintendents residential meeting... but what I really want to log in my blog is what a great evening I've just had at the Street Pastor training session.

We had a couple called David and Anne (natives to this area but currently living in Canada) to lead us on a session about 'prophetic evangelism' including practical excercises. The pattern they use was based on Jesus's encounter with Nathanael - first say what you see - "Here is a true Israelite in whom there is nothing false" and then if the Spirit prompts with a more specific image go with it - "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree". Apparently David and co (they work in threes) go out on the streets asking people if they would like to be given a word of encouragement. If they say yes, then David will tell them how they appear to him - strong; compassionate; sensitive; generous or whatever the Spirit (along with good observation skills) suggests. As an example he described me as a 'gentle giant' with great compassion for others. (I wish!) Sometimes the Spirit may then give other hints, visions, words of knowledge etc which can be shared sensitively.

So we got into threes and fours and tried this on each other - what I see in you is whatever - this is the kind of person I think you are. Very hard excercise on two counts. a) We don't normally compliment each other so openly and b) It wasn't easy to discern the prompting of the Spirit as distinct from the facts we already knew about each other.

Second exercise: Draw hats (representing roles/jobs). These were more to do with a person's heart and gifting than their actual employment. As an example David said he could see A in a teacher's hat suggesting she had a heart for teaching others. (She is a teacher, so his discernment was pretty good.) In the exercise I saw H in a straw boater. I couldn't work out if this was mere vivid imagination or what. I struggled to find any kind of interpretation and the best I could come up with was that H was at heart an entertainer and wanted to cheer other people up. Amazingly H admitted that as a child she always wanted to be an entertainer and make people laugh.

The evening ended with David and Anne going around praying with us in groups and as individuals. David's prayer over me was as someone who was faithful in being the first to try things, even if I was cautious and questioning. I was still willing to take a lead in the hope that others would follow. This prayer seemed to pick up on much of my questioning in recent months over the whole God Delusion / Richard Dawkins issue plus my wanting to give a lead to the church, but being cautious about the direction we should go. Anne's prayer was that God wanted to tell me "Well Done" (I couldn't help interjecting "I don't know what for!"), which was less precise but still very affirming and moving. The other two in the small group were similarly moved by the prayers.

A measure of how good an evening this was - instead of walking home and listening to music I cadged a lift from H (others stayed to pray but we both felt it was time to go) so that I could have time to record the events of the evening before bed. After two days in which I felt I was the least committed, least spiritual and least interesting superintendent in the Methodist district (because everyone else seemed to be more passionate, more holy and more humorous than me) this evening has been a real boost to my spirit and to my sense of worth. Thanks, Lord!

New Week's Resolutions - all gone to pot

Up to last week I was doing pretty well on most resolutions. I was getting up early (between 7 and 7.15), eating lots of fresh fruit, spending 10 minutes on my knees in prayer, going for walks, putting off trivial pursuits until a certain amount of proper work was accomplished. I even managed for a few days to ensure that tomorrow's activities were fully prepared today.

Now it's all gone horribly wrong. Why? Three reasons come to mind. 1) Busy-ness. I have had so much to do that I've had to get on and do it without the luxury of pacing myself nicely or fitting in the daily 'resolutions', important though they are. 2) My mother's 80th birthday. This is actually today, but we spent last weekend in Sheffield - a rare treat for me, wife, 3 children, sister, mother and assorted uncles and aunts all to be together at the same time in the same place. 3) Re-wiring of house. Day by day this is becoming more disruptive. We have to pack up our clutter and move our furniture so that carpets can be rolled up, floorboards lifted, joists drilled through and wires made to sprout out of all manner of nooks and crannies. The workmen start at 8.00 before I've really got my mind around the day. They spend the day dispensing a kind of controlled chaos. Then I spend the evening trying to restore a measure of order and soothe the stressed members of the family. Not conducive to ministerial efficiency.

My conclusion is to abandon normality for a few weeks. If I can manage to do all the essentials and to engender a reasonably calm domestic atmosphere I will be content. Greater ambitions will have to wait until normal life is resumed.

Life balance

At our ministers Lent Study group we were given the exercise of turning our week into a pie-chart divided up according to the number of hours we give to specified activities. I tried some honest calculations based on what I do in a normal day, and this is what I came up with:

1. Sleeping 49
2. Working 46
3. Domestic maintenance 18
4. Eating 14
5. Playing 14
6. Relaxing 14
7. Prayer & Worship 5
8. Other 8

The surprising thing was how much time I managed to play or relax (reading over lunch, watching TV before bed, being distracted by trivial computer activities) and how little time I spend with my family (some of the 'other' hours include this).

These last few days I've had no time for blogging either. I reckon I've made good use of my time, but there's always been the sense of having lots to do and not enough time to do it in. Consequently I'm not feeling guilty about wasting time, but at the cost of not switching off from activity and hence not properly enjoying the company of wife and daughters. Actually, it's not as bad as it sounds - we had friends visiting yesterday and spent a large part of the time chatting, eating or walking. I even found half an hour to help M with her maths. But I'm definitely becoming an activist. I find I'm resenting any interruption which prevents me getting things done. I'd better watch out.

New Week's Resolution #7

Result of NWR#1 (rising early): 5
Result of NWR#2 (fruit and veg): 7
Result of NWR#3 (backlog before leisure): 5
Result of NWR#5 (on my knees): 6
Result of NWR#6 (walk): 7

What is good about these New Week's Resolutions is that some of the earlier ones are now becoming ingrained habits on most days. The bad thing about the proliferation of resolutions is that by the end of the week I've started to lose track of the various scores.

My resolution for this coming week is that I will not retire to bed before I am fully prepared for the next day's activities. In other words, if I was to face some crisis the following day and have no time for further preparation, I would still be able to fulfil my commitments to a professional standard. The ideal would be being ready for tomorrow by teatime today and not feel pressured during the evening.

Getting catastrophe in perspective

Last night I went from euphoria (thinking I had managed to synchronise my handheld electronic diary with my new MacBook) to despair (discovering that it didn't really sychronise, attempting a different approach and losing a good half of my calendar appointments.) My attempt to restore these appointments by synchronising with my old PC laptop instead resulted in most of the data deleted from my old laptop. I have not gone into meltdown over this because I think I have a way to restore things from a backup without having to type it all in again.

Remarkably I retired to bed in a calm (if sombre) mood because I was able to put this disaster in its proper perspective. What do I need a computer for?

• To write and print documents - I can do this (though admittedly I've not managed to get the printer to work properly over the home wireless network).
• To communicate by email and access the internet - no problem.
• To keep up-to-date records of church members and such like - I can't yet do this on the MacBook because I need Windows to run Microsoft Access and though I thought I'd got it working it has all gone pear-shaped. (A reinstall didn't fix it and I am considering a reformat of the windows partition if I can work out how.) But I can still do this on the old PC.
• Managing my diary and 'to do' list - needs some urgent repair work.

The point is that a total computer catastrophe would not prevent me actually getting on with life, dealing with people, preaching and attending meetings. There are still people in the world who manage all this without recourse to technology. Neither does a computer failure detract from the list of riches I made the other day (see here).

Today, apart from attempting to recover my calendar data, I have more important fish to fry: the circuit preaching plan, the preparation for a new circuit and tomorrow's parade service all need some urgent attention by tea. Then tonight we've been invited to a party - and the computer hasn't.

Chalking up redeemed souls

Is it wrong to take pleasure in those people whom during my life I have influenced for the good? Paul doesn't seem to think so. He often speaks with delight of those he has won for Christ. And Thomas Taherne wrote "What would we give! that they might likewise see the glory of his majesty! ... For they themselves would be our greatest treasures when sav'd, our own most heavenly pleasures." Which I think means that when we get to heaven, one of our chief pleasures will be the presence of those whom we have helped save.

These are not thoughts I dwell on very often. I'd like to say that this is out of modesty. I am simply glad that people find Jesus - it doesn't matter to me who helped them reach that point. But a more honest reason for not thinking on these lines is that I don't want to be held responsible for the eternal welfare of others. The thought that I could personally be the means by which someone is saved is a frightening one - I am up to the task? And what happens if they aren't saved? I'd much rather their salvation depended on someone else. Leave me out of it.

Perhaps the main reason I don't dwell on "those I have saved" is that I couldn't with certainty place anyone into the category. I know (because people sometimes tell me) that there are some whom I have inspired and encouraged and helped on the Christian pilgrimage. I am not aware of anyone whose life has been radically changed simply because of me.

Maybe I limit my compassion for people to small areas of their life. I sympathise if they are ill. I try to teach them what they don't already know about the Bible. I suggest helpful ways of coping with problems. Maybe I should take a bit more interest in introducing them to the one who can totally transform their lives.

Being rich

I have been reminded this morning how rich I am. Here is my portfolio:

• Good health - a pain free and moderately fit life
• Loving relationships - wife, children, assorted friends - we all get on well
• Brain the size of a planet - OK a small asteroid then - a decent intellect, a logical mind and a polymathic curiosity
• Fulfilling work - too much of it sometimes, but I am never stuck for things to do - yesterday, for example, was one of those very satisfying days when I led a Bible study, attended Coffee Call, visited someone to arrange a funeral, oversaw a worship support group for our probationer minister, led a house fellowship, found time to read, walk, make a few phone calls, do some admin, watch TV and still get to bed at a reasonable hour.
• Pleasant environment - I live in a good neighbourhood with easy access to both city and country - and the night sky last night (on my walk) was breathtakingly beautiful (especially with Breathless by Camel as the accompanying soundtrack).
• Material wealth - this is not the place to set down the extent of our finances, but let's just say we have enough to manage our choice of lifestyle without undue worry.

So basically I'm rich. And in a world where so many don't have the above luxuries I am deeply grateful for what I have. Thank you, Lord.

My true nature revealed

I have come across a number of science fiction stories in which someone who thinks they are human discovers that they are merely a sophisticated robot - a created being. (Blade Runner is one example. The Tunnel Under The World is another.) It struck me this morning with some force that I am in exactly the same condition. I don't exist by chance or by some kind of human rights principle ("every human has the right to freedom, education and existence"). I am here because God made me. True, I am far more sophisticated than a robot, but nonetheless I am a creation of God.

This thought is both sobering and exciting. It brings home the precariousness of my very being, which I usually take for granted. It reminds me that God is a wonderful creator who has a purpose in making me the way I am. Life will only make sense if I develop a meaningful relationship with my creator.

Lent disciplines

Lent began five minutes ago. I've had my fill of pancakes and I've used up the last of the fair trade chocolate. When I say used up I mean I've eaten it. So I'm ready to begin forty days of discipline.

With all the new week's resolutions I am trying to keep I'm not going to embark on a long list of Lent disciplines. I'll stick to two.

The first is really hackneyed, but as it happens it is exactly what I need to do to restore some self-discipline into my life. I'm going to give up chocolate for Lent. Let me clarify this. I will not eat chocolate bars, chocolate spread, chocolate biscuits or any puddings with chocolate in. I will allow myself an occasional bedtime Horlicks with chocolate flavouring. The only other two exemptions are Sundays (feast days, not fast days - and not strictly speaking counted in the forty days - Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday (the day before Easter Sunday) comes to 46 days if you include Sundays) and special celebrations where it would be impolite to avoid chocolate (such as chocolate birthday cakes.)

The second discipline is simply that each day I will read (and ponder upon) the relevant pages of my Lent book, The Road to Emmaus, which uses the lives of seven famous Christians as a guide to thought and prayer.

• Outcome: I indulged in chocolate three times - twice due to 'special celebrations' and once in sympathy with S who needed medicinal chocolate to cheer her up. At first I tried to abstain on Sundays too, but from halfway I slipped back to using Sunday as an excuse for feasting not fasting. The book was also a failure if you count the two week gap in the middle, but I did manage to catch up again before Holy Week. Not a daily discipline then, but I reached the end by Easter Monday (today).

OK, I'm not emotional - so what?

How do you measure success? By emotion or by results? On an emotional level I have to confess I was a little disappointed about yesterday. I preached with outward passion but inward calm. The potential 'heart in the throat' moment when people stood to pray at the end of the sermon (see yesterday's post) left me unmoved (perhaps because I had my eyes shut!) After the service there was conversation about the sermon ('making disciples') which is a big improvement on most weeks, but I didn't get that sense of a real 'buzz' amongst people. In the evening a dozen turned up for a service of 'prayer, music and contemplation'. It was good to pray together but again I didn't feel any surge of excitement at what we were doing.

So I come back to my question. How do you measure success? If the point was to make me feel good or excited about the services then both services failed. I was at no point overcome by powerful waves of emotion. On the other hand if the point was to encourage others, to persuade them to take seriously the church's role in making disciples, to motivate them to pray, to get them on board with doing new things, then so far the results are encouraging (not dramatic, just encouraging). Of course, time will tell. One day's stirring up is not enough. Long term action is needed. In the meantime, there's no point in me feeling morose because I didn't scale any emotional heights myself. Yesterday was a good day. The Spirit was at work. My next job is to build on these foundations and not let them crumble away.

Stand up if you're with me!

In planning my sermon for tomorrow - a hard hitting address on the things we need to do as a church if we are to tackle our declining numbers - I concluded with the final sentence, "Jesus told us to go and make disciples. It's time for the church to stand up and accept the challenge!" As I said this (in my practice run-through) I realised that I could actually ask people to stand up if they agreed with me. What an affirmation if the whole church rose as one! What an embarrassment if they sat there in stony silence!

My thinking is that I could put it like this: "If, as a church, you are willing to accept this challenge I'm going to invite you in a moment to stand as I lead us in prayer. I'm not giving the usual request, 'would you all please stand', I'm asking if you are willing to accept the challenge that you stand. If you are unsure about what I've said or have reservations, then it's OK to stay seated and join in the prayer whilst sitting - and so that I don't even know who stands and who sits I'm going to close my eyes [do so]. This is not for my benefit but for yours. If you think that what I've said this morning makes a lot of sense - even if you don't agree with every detail - if you think that the church needs to take seriously the challenge of making disciples and if you want to be part of a forward moving church that draws people in and equips them for living the Christian life, then I invite you to stand with me now..."

I don't know if this is the right approach to take. I don't know whether I dare say this. Or whether I should say it. But the thought seemed to come from God and I don't want to pass up a chance for the Spirit to do something powerful. Lord, I need you to inspire me as I deliver what I believe to be the right message for my church at this moment in time - and I need you to guide me as I end the sermon. Help me to know if it is right to issue that challenge.

• Outcome: It was touch and go. The congregation were listening to me but weren't on the edge of their seats with eager faces. It was only in the last few seconds that I decided to go for it. My daughter told me afterwards that the bit about shutting my eyes seemed silly, but I'm glad I did it - in my dealings with people I will not be thinking, even subconsiously, "you're one of those who didn't stand to support me". I had to be satisfied with the noise of movement. My daughter estimated that it was 60-70% of the congregation that stood. I hope and pray that this simple act was meaningful to those who did respond.

New Week's Resolution #6

Result of NWR#1 (rising early): 5-ish
(I have been counting 7.10 or even 7.15 as near enough "getting up before 7")
Result of NWR#2 (fruit and veg): 7
Result of NWR#3 (backlog before leisure): 7-ish
(If you count fiddling with the new MacBook as leisure then this score would dramatically reduce to a mere 3 or 4)
Result of NWR#5 (on my knees): 6

I've been allowing my level of discipline to slip somewhat. I will try to tighten up on my old NWRs in the coming week, and I will add one more NWR to the list...

Each day I will go out for at least a 20 minute brisk walk (or some equivalent exercise).