Ordination celebrations

Last Sunday I had the privilege of laying a hand (along with the president of the Methodist conference and a bishop from Cuba) on the head of a friend and colleague as she was ordained into the Methodist ministry. The day had several memorable moments - rainbow flags leading the procession into conference; hymns introduced by a precentor and sung unaccompanied; the wonderfully worded motion to receive the ordinands, which included the number reference of the motion and the page number of the conference agenda (only Methodists could incorporate such precise details into such a solemn moment!); the coachload of visitors from my previous church who were co-incidentally there to see their current minister ordained; the applause for the newly ordained ministers which went on and on, and some of their faces as they struggled not to cry; meetings with old friends, including a fellow minister whom I have not seen since we were undergraduate students together in Durham - to name but a few.

Last night our circuit had its own celebration, including an uplifting testimony from the new minister and a simple but moving address from the guest preacher. Both these occasions have reminded me of my own call to ministry - and to some extent shamed me into the realisation of how lightly I treat my call. I enjoy life, yes. I am friendly to those I meet, yes. I get the essentials of ministry done (even if at the last minute), yes. But where is the passion to transform lives? Where is the urge to give and not count the cost? Where is the conviction that day by day I am helping to establish the kingdom of God?

One reason for returning to this blog after a time of absence is that I need the motivation to get a grip on my life. I've been cruising along nicely for a few weeks. I've had an extended break with S (visiting friends before, and family after the day of ordination). I've had a relatively busy time with meetings and such like to organise. I've done little pastoral work. I've let the backlog of jobs accumulate to the extent that it is horribly out of hand. I've postponed the really important issues. I've not spent much time with God.

This coming week in general, and today in particular, is a gift from God. I have no evening meetings. The only urgent things I am aware of are next week's services and putting together the first preaching plan of our new circuit. Therefore I will have time to tackle that vital category of 'important but not urgent'. But today I have one simple ambition - to seize control of my workload. If I can reach teatime with a clear desk, two empty intrays (physical and email) and a realistic list of future actions, then I shall be a deliriously happy bunny.

• Outcome: YES. My list of jobs to do is as long as ever, but at least I have a clear and well-ordered space (if you don't look at the piles of stuff on the study floor) in which to work.