I can't do this - or can I?

This morning's service involved me stepping a little way outside my comfort zone. I bared my soul to the congregation to this extent: At my testimony service, just before ordination my message was "I thought being a minister was within my capabilities, but now I've discovered I can't do it. It's beyond me. I need God's help." Twenty three years later I've had much more practice and ministry is well within my capabilities. I can do it well enough to get by. And my impression of the church is that we are experienced enough Christians to be able to run a church pretty well without relying on God.

I went on to challenge people as to how much we mention God or Jesus in our conversations after the service and asked whether part of the problem is that we have nothing much to say. What has Jesus done for me this last week which is interesting enough to share with others? Most weeks the answer is 'very little' because I've got used to living in my own strength and not attempting anything which would depend on God's resources instead.

The second way in which I stepped outside my comfort zone: I ended my sermon by inviting one or two people to come and share what difference Jesus had made to their everyday lives in the last few weeks. After a short awkward silence two people came and spoke. Afterwards several more people told me their stories, which they would have shared if they'd had the confidence to speak in public. So I have returned home with a sense that God has been at work. People were stirred up. Jesus became a topic of conversation. Many told me that I had said what needed to be said.

I am grateful for God's blessing this morning, but (after a typically delicious Sunday lunch) I could very easily relax back into my comfort zone. So I mustn't forget the first part of what I did. I have gone public with the fact that my ministry has become routine. The implications are that I have to change. I have to become reliant on Jesus much more. I have to expect God to work with me and through me. This is more than a little worrying. How am I going to live up to the standard I've set this morning? But that's the point. I can't do it on my own; Jesus and I can do it together.