The impact of "Influence"

I have recently returned from a conference at Cliff College near Sheffield called 'Influence'. It only lasted one and half days but was both stimulating in terms of ideas and invigorating in terms of personal faith. Here are just three details:

a) As we were singing "Lord, reign in me again" and as I was trying to mean what I sang, I was distracted by thoughts of a massive workload accumulating back home, of a wife and children who were not present to share my current experiences, of a wandering mind which sometimes leads me into fantasy worlds where life is much more exciting and less problematic than the real world, of a variety of leisure interests which I enjoy but which can distract from more important activity... and then we reached this line. "You are the Lord of all that I am." Those last four words encapsulated everything - work, leisure, family, personality, even my daydreams. God is not looking for some non-existent perfectly spiritual person to submit to him, but for me to do so - for "all that I am" to be at his disposal. With that insight I was able to sing the last line with heartfelt passion - "Won't you reign in me again!"

b) During a time of prayer and ministry, one of the leaders prayed for me that I would have a renewed expectation of what God could do and trust him to answer prayers. When I returned to my seat I decided I couldn't have any expectations fulfilled if I didn't have any expectations. So what should I expect to happen? Our church is on the verge of employing a family worker, but we have been waiting for many weeks for the CRB clearance to come through. The most recent provisional starting date was less than a week away. I wrote down a prayer - that by Monday we would have received the long-awaited clearance. I tried to believe it would happen, not just for my own benefit, but for the sake of the church. The day after I arrived home (Friday), the family worker called to say she had received clearance. God didn't let us down.

c) Returning from the mountain top of a Christian event down to the valley of humdrum life can all too easily lower the spirits. It seems to me that one mark of a good encounter with God is that it makes everyday life brighter rather than duller. I've now been home for almost two days and back into the necessary routine. (And this is the first chance I've had to record anything in my blog.) But the sense of interaction with God is still there. I may have left behind the rarefied atmosphere of a Bible College, but I've not moved out of God's presence.

GIRP #1 People First, Admin Second

When I am planning my day I often ask the wrong questions: Do I have time to visit anyone today? How am I going to create order out of the chaos which is my desk? Which of the events coming up demands my attention most urgently? I count it a good result at the end of the day if I feel in control of my workload and if I have managed to conduct a meeting without making a fool of myself. These should not be the primary motivations of anyone, let alone a minister.

Better questions to start with would be: Who am I going to visit today? What can I do today which will give comfort to the troubled, encourage the hesitant and move people on in their journey of faith? How can I make a positive contribution to the lives of others? Some degree of admin may be helpful or even necessary in achieving these objectives, but it should be factored into my timetable after my more direct dealings with people, not before.

Checklist: (Using the four criteria, Biblical? wise advisors? experience? Spirit?) The Bible is not a handbook on how to manage time and run organisations (although it does have some hints on such thing), it is a book about God’s dealings with people and his desire for us to love one another. If you were to ask what ordained ministry is about I can’t imagine anyone putting admin above people in their response. I do feel frustrated when (as at present) there is a huge backlog of urgent and important admin looming over me – can backlogs loom? – but that is peanuts compared to the guilt I feel when I realise how I have been neglecting those who are ill or otherwise in need. And yes, it does feel that the Spirit is prompting me to take this principle seriously, starting today!

So this becomes my first recorded "Get It Right" Prompt. (see here for explanation)

Procreation in heaven?

I have discovered an answer to a problem that has troubled me for years. It may not be a rigorously academic answer, but it satisfied me - which is all I ask for.

The problem is not the existence of natural disasters. I have long ago come to the conclusion that the same turbulent geology which gives rise to earthquakes and volcanoes also provides the conditions that give rise to living organisms. The same random mutations in our DNA which make evolution possible also give rise to disease and disability. In other words, even with all its problems, this is the best possible natural world in which human life could come into being. To put it bluntly, God could not have created a world which was a) without the potential for natural disaster and b) capable of producing intelligent life.

The problem is this: What about heaven? I want to believe in an environment which will contain no shred of suffering or pain, no sickness or disease. My concept of heaven is that it is more real and more substantial than our present existence, that one day I will look back on my 'earthly' life and see it as a pale shadow of the true life lived in heaven. But if I am going to argue that God couldn't create a pain-free earth, then how can I argue for a pain-free heaven?

And here's the recently discovered solution: There will be no procreation in heaven. It is earth which gives birth to that mysterious mix of mind, body and spirit which we call a human being. Heaven is the place where human life can flourish in all its fullness, but it is not the cradle of such life.

Let me use an illustration. The life of a plant is largely lived in an environment called 'above ground'. Here is where you see the plant grow and flourish and reach its full potential. But that life germinates in a dark gloomy place called 'underground'. Life begins in one place and flourishes in another. It may be necessary for the birthing-place to have some unpleasant aspects, but the living space can be trouble-free.

And if you think this is all mere fanciful speculation to set my mind at rest, I refer you to 1 Corinthians 15:35-49

"When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be, but just a seed. ... The splendour of the heavenly bodies is one kind, and the splendour of the earthly bodies is another. ... It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body."

"Get It Right" Prompts

I am halfway through a two-day "Global Leadership Summit" presented by Willow Creek. The opening session was about the process of decision making. There are four traditional guides to making a decision: What does the Bible say? What do others advise? What does past experience teach? Which way is the Spirit prompting? But Bill Hybels suggested going one stage further and coming up with 'axioms' which distil all the above into a nugget of wisdom. By way of example he quoted Abraham Lincoln - "The best way to defeat my enemy is to make him my friend." This is in keeping with the four traditional guides but is a shortcut to making the right decision.

I have a love-hate relationship with pithy sayings like this. Wisdom and truth can't always be so easily captured. There seems to be something simplistic and tacky about (for example) all the advice offered in the Baz Luhrmann single which begins "wear sunscreen...". On the other hand I sometimes find such nuggets of wisdom intriguing, interesting and even inspiring.

[later... the conference is now finished] It occurs to me that

• a) If a short saying is crafted from a careful consideration of the four traditional guides, it is not going to be trite or glib.
• b) If a short saying is not merely a repetition of someone else's wisdom but a distillation of ideas which have come out of my own particular context and are in keeping with my own particular personality, then it is going to be of some worth.
• c) If I were to think of such short nuggets not as 'wisdom' in themselves but as mere reminders of a more thoroughly developed issue, then there is less danger of oversimplifying.
• d) It is not just for guidance in making decisions that these pithy reminders will be useful for, but in many other aspects of life as I seek to live it in the way Jesus has given it - "to the full".
• e) I have plenty of ideas and inspirations arising from the Global Leadership Summit which will be lost if they are not captured somehow - say, in a computer document listing my "full life reminders" each followed by explanatory notes.
• f) Such a document will be a useful repository of future ideas and inspiration too.
• g) As I come up with meaningful and workable FLRs I can post them on this blog.
• h) I wonder if there is a catchier name for them? - and the answer is yes. Weeks later I have come up with GIRPs - a longer acronym but it can be pronounced more easily. It stands for “Get it right” prompts.
  

Not Taken

One of the many blessings I wish to place on record is that I am not like the character played by Liam Neeson in the film Taken. His attitude towards his teenage daughter was one of paranoid overprotection. By contrast I think I have a good relationship with my daughter - bearing in mind that fathers and teenagers are often not the easiest combination. Of course we have our disagreements and she can find me embarrassing in public, but we have fallen into a small ritual which really cheers me up: If we happen to pass each other as I am returning home from the paper shop and she is on her way to school, then despite the public setting and the dozens of commuters and other teenagers, we always acknowledge each other with a shoulder-height 'high five'. No words are spoken and often no eye contact is made (she is trying to catch me unprepared), but we've been doing this for years and I still appreciate it.

A second blessing is that my daughter has more than once travelled through Paris with a teenage friend and neither of them have been abducted by criminals and sold as slaves to rich foreigners.

The Bible comes to life

The Bible is a book that some enthuse over because it speaks to them on a regular basis. It seems to me that one's relationship with the Bible is dependant in large part on what mood you are in as you read. Today I was in a very receptive mood. And for the first time in yonks verses have been leaping off the page and addressing my precise situation.

For example, ever since I began this blog I have been trying to engage with the questions raised by Richard Dawkins in The God Delusion. Some of my responses are recorded in the blog. Though I have come up with counter-arguments which are more-or-less logical, none of them are watertight, and I have not been able to shake off a tiny niggling doubt - "What if Dawkins is right?" Today God gave me a command which I intend to follow. In the words of Colossians 2:8...

See to it that no-one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human traditioin and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.

The Lord taketh away

It was several years ago that the Lord gaveth. We were amongst the millions who benefited from the demutualisation of the Bradford and Bingley building society. We were suddenly shareholders. In recent times with share prices plummeting I have not been worried. Our assorted shares are long term investments and I don't mind if they are worth less now providing that their value increases again some time in the future. Unfortunately the news of the nationalisation of the said building society means the shares are not so much worth less as worthless.

I can't complain. We've been receiving small dividends over the years from these shares. We didn't earn them in the first place, they were a free gift out of nowhere. And now they're gone again. That's life. The one thing I need to do to maintain my calm composure is never to calculate how much money we would have received if we had sold the shares before all these financial problems began.

A cure for boredom

I've just returned from our annual Street Pastors commissioning service. The attendance was low and we only commissioned one person - unlike two years ago when the whole team was commissioned. (Here is a photo of us when we first set out onto the streets.)

But several elements of the service hit home to me. One was when Les Isaac, tonight's preacher and one of the key people behind the Street Pastor movement, said that sometimes his Christian life had been boring. "Tell me about it," I said to myself. The same routine, the same concerns, the same frustrations, the same endless efforts to get on top of paperwork, the same guilt about the amount of time I spend on trivia. But the good news is that it doesn't have to be like that.

I was excited by two things. One is that Jesus is clearly at work calling people (even if only one) to continue this vital ministry. I had a sense in the service of the bigger picture. There is a kingdom in which Jesus is the Lord, and although I am part of it, his work doesn't depend exclusively on me. Another exciting moment was the realisation that my call is to love people. Obvious I know. Trite I know. But it hit home with renewed force. I am actually blessed in having lots of opportunities to love people - through Street Pastors, through family life, through Methodist ministry. These opportunities should fill me with excitement. And as of now, they do.

On the way home I was listening to the album Leftoverture by Kansas. The music was perfect for my upbeat mood. And given my keenness to make a difference in people's lives, the following words seemed especially germane.


But there's too many empty lives my friend
And we just can't let them waste away.
For this life is a precious thing my friend
And we just can't wait another day.

Treating children like mini adults

One of the concerns raised at the school governors meeting last night was the way parents talked in the presence of their children. Either the subject matter or the foul language was sometimes hugely inappropriate for children under 10. The parents at the meeting were more passionate about this than I was. Partly because I don't hang around the school gates to hear what is being said, but partly because of my easy-going approach to life. On reflection this is a case for getting steamed up.

Children are not adults. They shouldn't be subjected to the full range of sex, violence and bad language that I seem to take in my stride these days. If they grow up in a household where such things are normal and not hidden, then no wonder they act and speak the same themselves.

Our church is in the process of appointing a family worker. The above thoughts remind me of the vital reasons behind this appointment. It is not to make the existing congregation feel better because the age profile of the church is lowered. It is not even to ensure a future for our particular church. It is because the church has something to offer to families and to growing children. We have a message to share and an example to show which will make a difference to people's lives, especially during those formative years.

When is a door not a door?

When it's a jar.

This was one of the first riddles I ever heard way back when I was a little bitty boy. It comes to mind because we found this morning that our front door had been left slightly ajar all night. (I know who was the last person home last night, but I'm not naming names.)

Fortunately the dog didn't exit and no burglar entered. Thanks be to God! Why thank God? Well, I wouldn't go as far as to say that God sent an angel to stand guard and keep the eyes of any villainous passers-by from noticing the ajarness of the door. But neither do I believe that God himself didn't notice and wasn't interested. God provides for our needs in a whole range of ways, and most often by gentle subtlety rather than by dramatic intervention. Maybe one day a slip up like this will have bad consequences and I will have to say "thank you, God, for teaching us we need to be more careful" but as far as last night goes - "Thank you, God, for your protection and for keeping us safe."

Getting high on God

I've just read the last verse of the first letter of John - "Precious children, don't get high on anything but God". This is how Rob Lacey puts it in his Street Bible. It may be a very loose translation of the NIV "Dear children, keep yourself from idols", but something about it hit home.

I have no fears on one score. I don't get high on non-God things. My trouble is that I don't get high on God either. I just don't get high full stop. I'm happy enough. I enjoy life. In fact I have a really good life for which I am jolly grateful. But where's the buzz? Where are those moments of being caught up into seventh heaven which I recall from my youth?

Perhaps it's just middle-age. Perhaps it's having settled into a routine with no major challenges or expectations. Perhaps I'm making a fuss about nothing. Yes, that seems the most likely. Now I think of it there are still moments when I'm swept away by the beauty of creation, or the marvels of science, or the intimacy of a loving wife - and all these things are gifts of God. Perhaps my whole life is lived so far above sea level that being on a high is relatively normal for me. Now that the mists have cleared, I think I can see a few peaks ahead of me even on today's journey let alone further in the future. Onwards and upwards!

• OUTCOME: No moments of intense joy but plenty of warm satisfaction. Being able to listen to a colleague share his troubles gave me the sense of being in the right place at the right time. It also underlined my gratitude for God's many blessings.

Too much guilt?

Whilst taking a breather after mowing the lawn, the random shuffle on my MP3 player brought up a song by Paul Field, Time and time again, which I think was intended to be used as a prayer of confession. It certainly summed up my mood of the moment - a realisation that "time and time again I'm a stranger to your love; time and time again I'm just not strong enough." One of the reasons we keep having to confess our sins is that we keep falling short of God's hopes for us and our hopes for ourselves.

Then the thought struck me: Should I therefore be resigned to a perpetual sense of failure and guilt? I know the gospel is all about forgiveness. I know that Jesus welcomes us in our brokenness. I know that we are set free from sin and guilt. I know that we are not perfect and keep making the same mistakes over and over. I know we should be relying on God's strength rather than our own. I know humility is a virtue. But.

But is constantly falling over and being picked up again the best I can look forward to? Is that what Jesus meant when he said he had come so we could have life to the full? The whole point of being forgiven is that I can go through life with head held high and heart brimming with joy. Issues of sin and guilt are bound to appear from time to time, but they ought to be dealt with quickly and thoroughly. They should not be my constant companions.

So what if my old familiar faults have caught me out yet again. They are forgiven. They have no hold on me. Life is good. God is great. I should be celebrating the fruits of the Spirit, not bemoaning the occasional persistent weed.

Ordination celebrations

Last Sunday I had the privilege of laying a hand (along with the president of the Methodist conference and a bishop from Cuba) on the head of a friend and colleague as she was ordained into the Methodist ministry. The day had several memorable moments - rainbow flags leading the procession into conference; hymns introduced by a precentor and sung unaccompanied; the wonderfully worded motion to receive the ordinands, which included the number reference of the motion and the page number of the conference agenda (only Methodists could incorporate such precise details into such a solemn moment!); the coachload of visitors from my previous church who were co-incidentally there to see their current minister ordained; the applause for the newly ordained ministers which went on and on, and some of their faces as they struggled not to cry; meetings with old friends, including a fellow minister whom I have not seen since we were undergraduate students together in Durham - to name but a few.

Last night our circuit had its own celebration, including an uplifting testimony from the new minister and a simple but moving address from the guest preacher. Both these occasions have reminded me of my own call to ministry - and to some extent shamed me into the realisation of how lightly I treat my call. I enjoy life, yes. I am friendly to those I meet, yes. I get the essentials of ministry done (even if at the last minute), yes. But where is the passion to transform lives? Where is the urge to give and not count the cost? Where is the conviction that day by day I am helping to establish the kingdom of God?

One reason for returning to this blog after a time of absence is that I need the motivation to get a grip on my life. I've been cruising along nicely for a few weeks. I've had an extended break with S (visiting friends before, and family after the day of ordination). I've had a relatively busy time with meetings and such like to organise. I've done little pastoral work. I've let the backlog of jobs accumulate to the extent that it is horribly out of hand. I've postponed the really important issues. I've not spent much time with God.

This coming week in general, and today in particular, is a gift from God. I have no evening meetings. The only urgent things I am aware of are next week's services and putting together the first preaching plan of our new circuit. Therefore I will have time to tackle that vital category of 'important but not urgent'. But today I have one simple ambition - to seize control of my workload. If I can reach teatime with a clear desk, two empty intrays (physical and email) and a realistic list of future actions, then I shall be a deliriously happy bunny.

• Outcome: YES. My list of jobs to do is as long as ever, but at least I have a clear and well-ordered space (if you don't look at the piles of stuff on the study floor) in which to work.

How to frighten your family

Yesterday's parade service was very well-received by the congregation. The leaders told me that they didn't have to stop the children fidgeting. The adults enjoyed it. Lots of people were involved. The guides and brownies performed a lovely song. No-one complained that it overran the hour.

The only criticism I had was from my wife and daughter. They knew what most didn't - that the bread bin I had brought out contained a hamster. So they thought I was being way too reckless leaving it balanced on the communion rail whilst hordes of children milled around. I was actually being very careful, but they spent ten minutes worried sick about the danger to the poor creature. They were much relieved when I finally opened the bread bin to reveal a safe and healthy hamster.

Time for a re-think?

This blog began as an experiment in on-line spiritual journaling. Has it been a success?

a) I have not been consistent or regular in my posts. When life has been busy and there has potentially been lots worth recording, I haven't had the time to do so.

b) I have tried to remain honest and open but without giving away sensitive pastoral secrets. But is it such a good idea to bare my soul in public. What happens, for example, when I move to a new church and some people investigate their new minister on the internet? Do I want this blog to be the first impression they have of me? Also, there have been times when important and significant things have happened in my life which are simply not appropriate for a blog.

c) Who reads this? Anyone? And if they do, is it helpful to them? Or am I writing merely for my own amusement?

d) I thought a blog might be a good place to keep track of significant spiritual ideas. Today, for example, I read a fascinating article entitled "How responding to people's needs hurts the church" but am not sure what to do about it. It's not quite the right subject for a sermon. Do I email it to key people in the church? Do I use it as a discussion starter in a meeting? Do I find some way (such as this blog) to record the concept in case it will come in useful one day? Do I simply let the ideas join the vast melting pot of ideas bubbling away in my subconscious?

e) Is this blog helpful to my spiritual growth? Does it motivate me to spend time in prayer and study? Does it matter whether I ever browse back through earlier entries?

Some of these questions are almost rhetorical. Others deserve more thought than I have time for right now. The experiment continues...

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away

Yesterday I had a big disappointment. For some weeks I have been considering a five day leadership course in November organised by the Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship. Although I don’t see myself as part of the charismatic movement, I have some sympathy with it and have been in enough ‘charismatic’ meetings to feel comfortable with the general ethos and atmosphere. In any case, going to something outside my usual experience might be just the thing to give me spiritual inspiration. Also, the course is being promoted through Methodist channels so I wouldn’t be an outsider. And the clinching factor is that my recent rewarding experiences with Street Pastor training (see earlier blogs here and here) came from the same school of thought.

So I’ve been looking forward to this course right up to the point where I sat down to book a place. Then I discovered it clashes with certain family arrangements which mean it will be a bad time to be away from home.

In coming to terms with my disappointment my first thought was this. “Lord, how can you dangle in front of me some encouraging, challenging and uplifting experience and then whisk it away? You’d better have something even better in mind!”

My later thoughts were, “Lord, are you trying to tell me that I shouldn’t be pinning my hopes on some conference as the solution to all my problems? Perhaps I shouldn’t be waiting until November to sort out my spiritual malaise but discovering a renewed sense of love for God here and now.”

So I’m pretty much over my disappointment by today. (One advantage with not being a deeply emotional person – I don’t sink too deep and bob back to the surface fairly quickly.) Instead I am beginning to feel new anticipation. Either God is throwing me back on my own resources to pull my socks up and make a go of life. Or God has something planned which will be even better than the course I can’t attend. Or both. Watch this space.

Work smarter not harder - but how?

I am not getting things done as well as I should. My life and work seem to be spiralling out of control. I realise I need to do things differently, but how?

Sharpening the axe. I’m a great believer in giving time to ‘preparing the tools’. If I commit time to creating a well-ordered work place with a tidily categorised list of tasks, then I feel better in myself, I work better and I get the jobs done in less time overall than if I just pitch into the chaos and thrash around. The trouble is that in recent weeks the influx of email and post have created so much clutter that I am spending many hours sharpening the axe without even getting it really sharp, let alone using it to chop trees.

Focusing on the important rather than the urgent. I know the principle. Those things which are important, but have no clear deadlines – they don’t actually need to be done today, or even this week – ought to have priority. But when it comes to a choice between preparing tonight’s meeting or visiting someone who could be visited another day, it is usually the urgent task that gets the priority. I am already going into meetings, or even services, feeling that I am under-prepared. If I cut down on preparation time in favour of more important (but less urgent) activities, then I will end up winging it in meetings even more than I do now.

Avoiding time-wasting leisure. I know there is a proper place for relaxation and personal refreshment in anybody’s life, and that constant work can be counterproductive if it leads to stress, ill health and early ‘burn out’. But I could easily add an hour or two here and there to my working life if I cut down on certain distractions. This may not be a complete solution to my problems, but it would reduce the sense of guilt. I would avoid the current situation where I feel that one wasted hour is to blame for not fulfilling all my tasks, when actually I would have needed many additional hours to complete them.

Prayer and spiritual nourishment. Again I know the principle – the more one has to accomplish, the more one has to pray. The reality is that I have been ‘too busy’ for some weeks to devote any serious time to prayer – though I have not been too busy for lots of other less important matters.

So what’s the answer? Probably the simplest approach is the best – decide at any given moment what is the most important thing to be doing and then do it. It’s a good principle. I just need the mental discipline to follow it. Which means the most important thing right now is to pray...

Pausing to admire the view

We returned yesterday from a four day break visiting our son in Macclesfield. During this visit we walked up some steep hills and enjoyed some spectacular views. A few of these great views were when we paused to rest, and instead of looking at the ascent still ahead of us we turned and appreciated how far we had already climbed.

So, not having blogged for a while, it's time for a brief pause to admire the big picture, and it's generally positive. I've been in good health for a long time now, though my weight this morning is vastly more than I'd like it to be - in fact I can't offhand remember being any heavier than I am now. Family relationships continue to be good - any disagreements are over minor issues, which I reckon must indicate a generally contented family. I've produced a few stirring sermons (according to feedback afterwards) alongside the run-of-the-mill (and the not-really-up-to-scratch) stuff. There is a groundswell of enthusiasm in the church to do something dramatic with our children and young people. I've been keeping on top of admin, though not enough to clear my backlog of tasks, or to be very proactive in important matters.

Spiritually (and this is supposed to be a spiritual journal), I've been barely ticking along. I'm probably too content with my lot. There's no pressure to launch out in faith. I've got enough knowledge and experience to do all the spiritual things ministers are supposed to do - preach, lead in prayer, explain the Bible, support the faithful - but I don't find myself driven to my knees in desperate intercessory prayer; I don't go rushing eagerly to the Bible in anticipation of an encounter with God; I don't put my every waking effort into bringing the kingdom of God into my local community.

In spiritual terms, there's not much of a view behind me. I have a lot further to climb first. Today I need to diverge from the easy level path and put in some effort to heading upwards.

The voice of prog rock

I am convinced that God can speak using a wide variety of means. This teatime he spoke to me through the lyrics of a prog rock track. I was wandering the streets getting a bit of exercise and enjoying a live album by Spock's Beard. Suddenly the repeated words turned into the voice of Jesus challenging me to give up my own futile efforts and trust him.


"Don't you want to live my way?" he said to me. "Why do you want to keep trying? You never get it right!" And then the punchline "...when you could be living day for night."

This message doesn't look much when put into cold hard print (or even cold hard pixels), but as it hit me earlier, it was a challenge I needed to hear. Spiritually speaking I spend too much time stumbling around in the dark. Instead of just trying harder, I ought to be responding to the invitation of Jesus - live his way and it will be like walking in the light.

Reduced to Love

I've just returned from our monthly Street Pastor meeting where we have listened to a Canadian lady (on CD) talk about love. What she had to say was highly applicable not just for the occasional Friday evening on the street but for all my interactions with other people.

I need to see others as God sees them. To recognise in them a beautiful human being full of potential and with a glorious eternal destiny ahead of them. I should not see them as a 'target' to be saved, redeemed or reformed. I should definitely not see them as an 'undesirable' to be condemned or punished. My overwhelming attitude should be one of love. I should long to see them blessed - in whatever way they can cope with at the moment, rather than some form of blessing I would personally approve of. The speaker told a story of how God prompted her to give 20 dollars to a prostitute as a gift to help her have a 'better day'. The prostitute said, "you know what I am? You know what I'll spend this on?" (i.e. a heroin fix) and the speaker admitted she knew all that but still insisted the money was a gift from God with no strings attached. The moral of this story is not to give all my money away, but to love unconditionally, to have God's heart for anyone and everyone I meet.